Amidst the glut of holiday compilations that can be as
uncomfortable to listen to as your relatives’
anecdotes about their mysterious medical woes over
lukewarm store-bought eggnog at this year’s holiday
get-together, the kind folks at Unschooled offer their
excellent remedy with the listenable A Very Unschooled
Christmas. The intent here is most certainly not to
jump on the holiday bandwagon, even though several
holiday standards are present on the track list. This
compilation is intended to provide some respite to
jaded ears weary from the same Christmas discs played
year after year, as well as have your anecdotal
relatives scratching their heads mid-sentence
wondering if that eggnog had too much nutmeg in it.
Decomposure’s “Little Drummer Boy” opens the disc with
subtle, hushed percussion that morphs into heavy dub
echoes before igniting into stuttering beats that
sound like the poor kid had a bad encounter with the
three wise men’s frankincense and myrrh. The same
could be said for those naïve sprites on 1st Class
Lounge’s “Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairies,” whose
warped vision of the original conjures up memories of
random Technicolor dreams after eating late night
holiday sweets, yet still manages to bring a smile to
my face when I hear it. 1984 returns with the
shimmering electro of Captain Ahab’s “Do They Know
It’s Christmas Time?” which sounds like it could
easily be the flip side of the recently re-recorded
charity track. Later, Obliminal one-ups Ahab with a
pitched loop of Michael Jackson’s “Billie Jean” mashed
with a guitar solo on “God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen”
that has to be heard to be believed.
Plat’s ethereal version of “O Holy Night” and
Multi-Panel’s mellow “Silent Night” both share a
mutated dreamy rock sensibility with layers of echoing
guitar and processed pads that make for a nice evening
under the warm glow of Christmas tree lights. The
guitars are replaced by playful synths on A Bit
Crusher’s “White Christmas” which become solid
chiptune blips on Ochre’s arcade rendition of “Jingle
Bells” after Doofgoblin’s DSP take on “Deck The Halls”
creates an entirely new track that could easily be
included on a non-Christmas style compilation. The
moodier side of the holidays is here with 1980’s
version of “Baby Please Come Home,” whose honest
vocals reminded me that there are some folks out there
spending the holidays unwillingly alone. Finally, the
ghost of Christmas future speaks with an unsettling
Kraftwerkian robotic voice over deeply somber pads on
Plan 29’s “O Little Town of Bethlehem” before Skates’
“O Come All Ye SKATESful” signals it’s time to switch
out the disc, preferably for “A Charlie Brown
Christmas” in my case. At any rate, pop A Very
Unschooled Christmas in the CD player, pour some of
that monster eggnog in your snowman mug and let the
party begin.
A Very Unschooled Christmas is out now on Unschooled Records.
