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Over the weekend of the 13th /14th November something strange happened, the Coil website went blank. An empty black page was all that could be found. This didn’t go unnoticed by Coil fans as so many are dedicated to following every snippet of news that appears. A comment soon appeared on their mailing list. While it was odd nobody thought it was anything other than website updates in progress.
Then came an announcement.
The loyal and dedicated followers of Coil awoke on the morning of Monday 15th November 2004 to find the announcement of Geoff Rushton’s (Jhonn Balance) passing in a tragic accident at home. Ironically Coil should have been playing a huge electronic music event in London that day and had it not been cancelled at the last minute Balance might not have been where he was. That aside, e-mail after e-mail from fans of the band flooded the Coil list and for the first time under such circumstances I sat and read every one. Still they are being sent to the list, each expressing the same crushing loss and disbelief that Balance has gone whilst giving thanks for what he and Coil have given us all.
My personal appreciation of Coil is a relatively new one. I was introduced to the band by my wife who was a fan of industrial music and frequented the goth scene up until around 1997. She bought me a copy of the first Unnatural History CD and advised my to go out and buy Horse Rotavator, which I duly did shortly afterwards. At the time I liked some of the music but didn’t truly appreciate it as much as maybe I should have done. All of that would soon change.
In 2001 I attended the Wave Gotik Treffen music festival in Leipzig mainly to check out the many synthpop and electronic noise groups in attendance. Coil were also on the bill late one night after Front 242. Front 242 raised the roof and Coil’s gear was set up over a prolonged period of time before they were ready to perform. What came next quite simply changed my life. In a packed hall of goths, Coil took to the stage in their futuristic white space suits with fluffy mirrors on the front, lightbulbs hung across the front of the stage, electronic equipment of various descriptions neatly grouped on the stage behind Balance. The performance itself was mesmerizing, captivating and intense, so much so I couldn’t speak for a good 2 hours after it was over. That experience will live with me forever and transcends any other concert experience I have ever had and I imagine l will ever have again. I was hooked. I wanted to know more, hear more and relive the experience.
Alongside the sonic creativity of video producer, photographer, remixer and consummate electronic musician Peter “Sleazy” Christopherson were the vision, passion, intensity and lyrical musings of Balance. Often dark and disturbing, sometimes sad and fragile, regularly angry and impassioned, Balance put everything into his performances and wanted everyone watching to feel it too. Screeching, playing with words, whispering, shouting and always emotive, watching Balance – and the changing cast of players that form Coil – perform to the backdrop of Christopherson’s music was like watching a man exorcise his demons, like a group of people performing a ritual and inviting you to observe. I don’t claim to understand all the references to their own belief systems in their music but it still reaches out to me on a level no other music has ever come close to doing. I read once that Coil wanted their music to allow their audience to forget about their daily lives and release themselves for a time while they witnessed the performance before them. For me, that is exactly what they do, they absorb me in something far above and beyond mere music to make what I see and hear an experience.
I saw Coil a further 3 times at the Barbican in London 2002, All Tomorrows Parties 2003 and Wave Gotik Treffen 2004. Each time the experience was different and in the last 2 cases I was lucky enough to make it to the front row and experience the show up close and at its full intensity. Balance’s ATP performance was particularly memorable for his recollection of being mugged on the Marylebone Road in London a short time before the concert and for the beautiful rendition of “The Dreamer is Still Asleep” they performed at that show. The one song that has been with me over the last few days since the news went public of Balance’s passing is Coil’s version of the traditional folk song “All the Pretty Little Horses” which Balance sang so gently and with such emotion. That song is the one that has really moved me during the past few days and makes me wish Balance was still among us. No more will I see posts to the Coil mailing list with the signature opening words “Balance here.”
He has continued his great journey and I hope that he will find a place where he can be at peace with himself. One day I hope to once again experience the brilliance of his creativity, vision and intellect.
Jhonn Balance I salute you. I will miss you greatly. You are a true legend, a visionary, a genius. Good-bye Jhonn.
With the greatest of love and respect.
Paul Lloyd,
18th November 2004
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